Sinful Thoughts

Truth be told, it wasn’t until I started working in phone sex that I discovered that there were cocks that can only be described as miniature. Before the 1st tiny tooled stroker turned on his cam, I never saw a penis under 6″ and now I’ve got a stable-full of itty bitty cocklettes.

There are 2 that have  caught my attention – for very different reasons. Even though both own appendages that you need tweezers to find, one is uncircumcised and the other is not. Normally I wax poetic about a natural cock, but even a foreskin can’t hide the fact that HARD, it looks like a twig.

Small Penis = Virgin For Life!

Poor guy, so hopeful that after a few hours of pussy munching, he’ll get to dip his wick, but as soon as he whips it out, the date is over. Even the best muff divers can’t get past their inadequacies, and they run when the laughter begins. I’m not surprised that after dozens of dates, and this almost 30 year old is still a virgin! Not so much of a shocker really.

Is My Prick Too Small For You Mistress?

 I’ve heard that question from so many men without much manhood, but it never fails to CRACK me up and reply ..

“No one is truly worthless, you can always be used to set a bad example.”

Call Me today and tell me how worthless your little tug toy is.

One of my all time favorite movies is “Pretty In Pink”. Its also my favorite color. I honestly think its the best color on me, because I always look pretty in pink. I was discussing this with my boyfriend last night, and he said “Yeah you do look hot in pink babe, and so do I.” I sat there and stared at him for a minute, trying to figure out exactly how to respond to that, my first thought being “oh fuck, Im dating a friggin queer, an ass packing sissy faggot.” I gotta say, at that moment I started to panic LOL.

I tilted my head to the side, and gave him a slight smile and said, “Um what do you mean baby? He replied- “Oh you misunderstood. I look pretty IN pink, like INSIDE your  pink, like my dick in your pink cunt. At which I absolutely fell over laughing. I told him that I was more than happy to hear that.

This is both of us looking “Pretty In Pink” Pretty fucking sexy huh? 

Do you ever sit back and fantasize about your wife getting completely satisfied by a nice big fat cock? Want to know a secret? Your wife fantasizes about this too. She is tired of being subjected to less than adequate sex. She is in desperate need of a real man in her life, and bed.

You know you can’t compare to what he can offer her. Once again, you fall short of your responsibilities. This is no surprise though, it’s been this way for years, and because of that, things are going to change.

You will have a new role now. You are going to be the best cuckold husband ever. Your life as you knew it is gone but everyone will be much better off this way. You will encourage your wife to enjoy herself sexually with who ever she wants and you will support her choices with out question.

Now, I’m sure you remember how incredible it felt to fuck your wife bareback right? Well her new  black lovers feel the same way. Are you ready to raise another mans child? What? You don’t want your wife getting pregnant by him? Well then, it seems that you have some work cut out for yourself.

Your wife is going to have as much amazing sex as she possibly can. She is going to develop an insatiable appetite for cum, becoming an amazing cum whore. This greatly increases the chances of her becoming pregnant. This means, that if you don’t want another member added to your family, you must become the new form of BIRTH CONTROL for her and her lovers. You will have to get down between her legs every time her pussy is filled up with his superior seed. You will push your tongue deep inside and extract every single drop of his baby gravy to ensure she doesn’t become knocked up.

Keep in mind that if she does become pregnant, its not her fault, it’s YOURS. I would like to hope that your tongue works better than your useless cock. How many times has your cock failed her so far? Yeah, thats what I thought.

You can reach me at 1-866-429-4353 From 12 Noon until 12 Midnight EST Ask for Mistress  Mitzie. Lets see how many of you can follow simple directions.lol

A Male Fairy Tale:

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess Will you marry me?
The Princess said NO And the Prince lived happily ever after and
Rode motorcycles and fucked skinny big titted broads and hunted and Raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and Drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and Never paid child support or alimony and ate pussies and fucked Cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on While he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was Fuckin’ cool as hell and had tons of money in the bank and left the Toilet seat up ….. The end

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess Will you marry me?
The Princess said NO And the Prince lived happily ever after and
Rode motorcycles and fucked skinny big titted broads and hunted and
Raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and
Drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and
Never paid child support or alimony and ate pussies and fucked
Cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on
While he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was
Fuckin cool as hell and had tons of money in the bank and left the
Toilet seat up ….. The end

GIGGLE!! Naughty naughty!! I love naughty. I’d love to play with YOU too. I’m a sexy little coed looking for lots of big fat cocks to stuff my tiny little pussy. Help a girl out? Feed me cock and lots of it! Puny cocks need not apply. I’m a spoiled princess and I deserve the very best cock out there not your pathetic little clit dick you pansy little sissy! But I’ll make fun of ya ALLLLLL DAAAAYYYY LOOOONG. Hahahaha!!!

What’s The Difference

A young boy went up to his father and asked him,
‘Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?’

The father thought for a moment, then answered, ‘Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.’
So the boy went to his mother and asked, ‘Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?’
The mother replied, ‘Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!’
The boy then went to his sister and asked, ‘Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?’
The girl replied, ‘Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?’
The boy then went to his brother and asked, ‘Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?’
‘Of course,’ the brother replied. ‘Do you know what a million bucks would buy?’
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, ‘Did you find out the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?’
The boy replied, ‘Yes, ‘Potentially’, you and I are sitting on three million dollars.
………But ‘realistically’, we’re living with two hookers and a queer.’

Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait ten minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6. It’s okay when the person you’re with fantasizes you are someone else, because you are!
5. Twenty years from now you will still enjoy candy.
4. If you like what you get, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning.
2. Less guilt the morning after.

And the number one reason trick-or-treating is better than sex……

1. You can do the whole neighborhood! !!!!

This little poster here tickled the fuck out of me. Now don’t get me wrong because I get the jist of it but I have to beg to differ. Is anything better than being able to stick your dick in a wet and hot hole and fuck the hell out of it? Stick your dick in that tin beer can and see what it gets you….a scraped up hurt cock. Now stick your dick in my wet cunt and see what it gets you….the best fucking cum your dick could possibly desire. That means pussy is far greater than beer could ever hope to be!

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, hands him a menu.

“I’m sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order from there.”

A little curious, the owner walks over to a dirty pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man’s table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. “Ah, yes, that’s what I’ll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”

“Unbelievable! ” In the kitchen, the owner exclaims to his wife Theresa, who is also the cook, and tells her what has just happened.

A few days later the blind man returns, and the owner brings him a menu.

“Sir, remember me? I’m the blind man.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you. I’ll go get you a dirty fork.” The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, “That smells great, I’ll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.”

In disbelief, the owner tells his wife Theresa that the next time the blind man comes in he’s going to test him.
The blind returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, “Theresa, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.”

Theresa does it and hands her husband the fork.
As the blind man sits down, the owner is ready.

“Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you.”
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says,

“Hey, I didn’t know that Theresa works here?”